this post is a departure from the usual content of this blog. below is a paper i wrote for a Psychology of Women course as part of my undergraduate work. it’s highly personal, and deals with everything – sex, love, family, abuse, relationships. it’s about women, strength, and empowerment. i’m posting it because…. well, because i can. because it’s part of my growth. because i’m not ashamed of my life. both my parents are dead now, so i don’t think they’ll mind. if you’re uncomfortable with reality, be prepared. this is what you could call a “Big Share.”
in honor of my mother, Catherine. happy mother’s day. and thanks.
Two or Three Things I Know For Sure
I lost my virginity when I was 19 years old. I didn’t love him. I don’t know if he loved me, and I didn’t really care. I didn’t do it for him or even because of him – I did it for me. I was tired of waiting. Sex was so built up, and I didn’t want to wait anymore for that man of my dreams that would never come. It wasn’t special or mind-blowing when it finally did happen. There were no rockets or fireworks. I think we went out for Chinese that night, then went back to his dormitory. I was lying on his bed with my hands behind my head, looking at the posters haphazardly tacked up on the walls. Continue reading